Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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