I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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