you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
