It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
