Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
