toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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