We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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