If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
