Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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