Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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