I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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