I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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