DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
