Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i drank out of a bidet.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
