so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
