tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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