it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize