K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
