i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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