At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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