I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
