mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize