You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
