dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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