I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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