I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
