If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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