I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
