1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
