Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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