Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
FUCK WHALES
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