he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
