great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
