people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
