new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
