i just google imaged poop.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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