if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Girls should come with a carfax report
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
