Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
