Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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