I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
