The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
