I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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