Don't you send me to vm
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
