I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize