So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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