u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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