NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize