Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
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He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
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