Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
our cab driver is having phone sex.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
