I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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