my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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