I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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