I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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