I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
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