is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
