spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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