I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
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She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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