Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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