I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
